Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Panic Attacks and Nightmares?

I've had two nightmares, different but similar in their own ways. The first one started out like a normal, good dream. I was in my fathers basement doing my homework when all of a sudden i started to feel intense, horrible fear. I stood up and went for the stairs, wnating to get out of the basement as fast as i could-no real reason why, i just felt it wasn't safe down there. I was almost at the stairs when the screaming started. The screaming was terrible- almost like a siren in its intensity and pattern. I turn towards the screaming-and i see a baby, blue from death on the floor, but its staring at me and wailing that terrible cry. The moment i layed eyes on it i started to hyperventilate-not sure why, this has never been my reaction in nightmares before. the baby looked enraged-like it wnated to kill me and just when it started to crawl towards me i woke up in a pool of sweat and my heart racing. About a month later i had a similar dream. This time i was in my moms house-the living room i think. My friend and i were hanging out when all of a sudden a girl- she was dead and shadowy- started to climb down the wall next to me. She was crying out in the exact sam ehorrible siren scream as the baby- i can never forget that scream. The moment i saw her I started shouting "I'm not afraid of you!" over and over and i once again started to hyperventilate- but this time i wasn't afraid. I knew i was fighting her somehow-and that i was winning. She reached the floor next to me and everything wnet black, I started to be afraid when i felt myslef being pulled from my dream and i woke again in apool of sweat. I can only interpret that my waking is caused by my hyperventilating but i just can't shake the feeling that its not that which wakes me up- but the screaming. I feel so strongly in my mind that teh screaming is real-it is teh scariest sound i have ever heard and feels as though it comes from outside my mind and not within, hard to explain. almost like the few moments before your alarm wakes you up u interpret its sound into your dream- as a person talking or party music-what have you. Another thing is how certain i am that these people are dead-its embedded in my thoughts that they are dead. Last but not least i wnat to stress that these are nothing like nightmares i have experienced before which are pretty obvious in being nightmares- like these start out completely normal and then all of a sudden its like my dreams have been invaded by some outside force that rips its way into my mind and i have to fight to keep it out. It scares me a lot but im pretty sure they are going ot be a month apart always so i have a bout a week to figure it out.

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